Sorry so long...

Mom is getting stronger every day. She took a walk today and says she feels better every day. She has lost her top denture and is very embarrassed about it. But, they won't re do them she said because of her heart surgery. They have to have clearance from her heart doctor. So she is a little upset about that. Otherwise things have been good.

She has really appreciated all the calls and visits, Ellen you made her day yesterday!! She has received a lot of cards and a few are constant in their calls and visits. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU. Lena my mother in law went out of her way to make a big dinner for us all and that was so special. Mom and I both are surprised at some that haven't called or came by or helped out, but she would never ask and neither would I.

She is so excited about Homecoming on Sunday, since I know she won't read this...they are also dedicating the church to Mom and Dad on Sunday, which will be awesome. It is a surprise and I know they are going to feel so honored. They started the church and it has grown and grown. Lisa and I will be singing, Ellen is coming to sing, I think Todd is going to sing as well. Mom said she couldn't with no teeth haha. I feel so sorry for her.

Dad is finally perking up a little. This wore him out as well, along with some family stress...he was pretty down and out for a while. But he is stronger than anyone thinks and has finally is feeling better. Being without mom for a while was hard on him, and that first day she was home he stayed in bed with her almost the whole day ... so sweet. They do love each other soo much.

Mom is going to talk about all she has went through Sunday I think, I plan on video taping it and hope to get it on here. I also have some pictures to upload too.

Eddie...I will mail you your album since you can't come Sunday, you will be missed but like Ellen said...we can talk about you :)

Love you all...talk soon.

Hope

Follow up appt.

Mom went to see Dr. Hennington today and all is well. She is doing very good and the x-ray they did looked good as well. She was worn out to say the least, most she has done in a while.

She is hoping to go to Gary's on Sunday for the annual Pig Pickin'. Then the next Sunday is Home coming at their church and she is hoping that Ellen and Eddie and family are coming...we are all hoping that!

Thanks again for all the prayers...we know that HE got her through this.

07-07-2007

Some of you may know by now...Lori has invited all the family to her house for a 'Pig Pickin'!

I am making an official invitation and will mail it out soon. We chose the 7th since it would be the end of the holiday week and most will be home. Also, so we could have an excuse to have fireworks.

We are hoping to have lots of music too. Johnny has already said he can't come, but I know Todd is and I am sure he can line up some people to sing and pick with him. Anthony is pickin a little now so we will have to get him up there. I am sure Gary is coming with Todd and I hope Little John. At the least...we can have a CD player *smiles*.

We are having lots of food, just asking everyone to bring a dish or two and maybe a drink. We are having watermelon of course, and lots of pictures.

So keep a look out in your mail....you'll be hearing from me soon. (except those that have said they are not coming already :) )

Times...they are a lookin' up!

When mom got home the first day she was just so happy to be out... to be in her bed, sleep beside Daddy, to eat normal food...just to be home. That first day, we planned to keep things small and just let her get some rest. Lisa had brought her home from the hospital and Todd was here so we decided to have an impromptu dinner. It blossomed from there. Bradley and Kita came, Cara and Randall came as well...with baby Illan. We all ate and were sitting down while mom was laying down and a few left. Then Lori and Tiffany came to pick up Sandy, mom loves Lori so much - she is like a daughter to her I think. Mom was so thankful they came to pray with her and to just show her love. And thank you Lord for sending someone who would take great care of Sandy, Anthony and the whole family love her...makes me so happy she has a loving family and not as sad knowing she isn't with us. Misti and Lily came by as well.

I think we just over done her that night, she started having some chest pains and finally it eased up. Well, since then she had been having the pain a lot. Saturday night, she came in the living room and told us it was really bad and she may need to go to the hospital. She had taken a nitro and it had helped, so she thought. I started asking her about her pain medication and she said she had only been taking part of one now and then. I explained to her that she didn't just have a tooth pulled, she had open heart surgery! The doctor said for the first 2 weeks she should take them every 6 hours on schedule. So we did that, she took a whole one with some Tyelenol and that night she slept pretty good. So all day yesterday we kept her on a schedule and she wasn't up all night like the previous ones. Today she says she feels good and hasn't had to take any nitro since. She still gets tired, but the pain is easing. I am so relieved. Scott is too, he stays up late and it worried him so much to see mom coming in the living room to sit up every 30 minutes or so.

I appreciate all the calls and visits, they mean so much to mom and to me. I hate I can't just sit and call people much...between all that I am doing for mom and dad and my own things....I barely call anyone. We do have the house phone in now, and please call her on it...saves my cell bill and hers.

Lisa and Todd...thank you again for all you have done and are doing. Thank you Lena for cooking a big dinner for us last night, I am not a big cooker and this last week has been a challenge :). Mom enjoyed your visit so much! Scott....what can I say, you have been so wonderful. I am so blessed to have you and mom is too. I know you are so tired after working all day and that long drive, yet you still have time to help me with mom and house stuff. You take the time to talk to her and help in any way you can. I love you spending time with daddy as well.
Times like this should make us all cherish our families, to put anything that divides aside and concentrate on the one that needs us the most. I am glad I have such a family.

LESLIE...thank you so much for calling me every day and to check on me. I am so thankful for your prayer, love and constant friendship. You mean the world to me. Burt and Colin too :)

DIVAS....thank you so much for all the calls, all the prayers and the Flowers!! Mom loves them, they are in her room...and I get to see them all day too :). Jen...thank you for the bear...it is a smile maker every time we look at it. I am so blessed to have such good friends!!

Ellen and Eddie...mom loves you so much...we all do, but mom just has such a special place in her heart for you. We all wish you lived closer so we could be together more. Mom gets all teary eyed when she talks about you. She can't wait to see you for Home Coming! We are all looking forward to it. Ellen....maybe we could find a song to sing together???

gonna post another post about a get together!

God is GOOD!

I just wanted to post quickly that mom is HOME! Well, my home. We are putting a phone in so they don't use their minutes on their cellular phone. 828-874-0816 is the number and should be hooked up by tomorrow evening.

She is good, she is tired and a little weak but to be expected. I know she felt wonderful getting in her own bed...daddy brought it today. So please call, please come by...I know she will love the company. I know she wants to really rest today but after today...come one come all!!!

Love you and thanks so much for all your prayers and love. And thank you Lisa for helping so much, I love you...and I am not just saying that to get potato salad...though it would be nice :)

Finally some good news!!

I just wanted to take a minute...to finally share some good news!
My dad went to see mom early this morning and said she was still out of it a bit, but doing a little better. They were giving her 2 more units of blood and a new sedative.
I went at lunch and I walked in and she was sound asleep...not like the last few days where her eyes were twitching and she was moving around on the bed...she was REALLY asleep. I didn't have the heart to wake her, so I kissed her chubby cheeks and stepped out to talk to the nurse. I told her that I left her a mother's day card, please give it to her since she is asleep. The nurse told me they had tried to get her up walking, but she was very combative and even took swats at the nurse.

So I went to have lunch with the in-laws and daddy calls me from seeing her at the next visit...and said she was still a little...just a little confused but he said she let him kiss her, she told him she loved him. Soo, I was so psyched to go in and see her.

Scott and I go in, her eyes are closed. I was :( thinking I wouldn't get to see her again. I touched her hand and whispered mamma...and she opened her eyes...and there she was, her eyes were clear. My heart leaped as she said hey Honey...Hey Scop (she calls him Scop...Cara couldn't say Scott..lol). Then she said when am I going home...:) I told her after she starts walking and is able to do that they will let her go home. She said she can't wait. She asked if she was coming to my house or hers...I asked where she wanted to go...she said she would love to sleep in her own bed, so I told her that if she wants she can go to her house for a couple days then come to my house. Her eyes lit up, she said she would love that. She held my hand and she said she loved me and wanted me to spend the night with her when she gets in a regular room...she said she missed me. Tears fell down my face hearing my sweet mother was back. It was the best Mother's Day gift ever.

I had taken a peony (flower) from Lena's garden...they smell sooo sweet and I asked her if she wanted to smell it and she did...over and over. She asked if I had let Ellen and Eddie know how she was and I said I had...she asked if Daddy had been eating right.

I called everyone I knew that would pray for her Friday - Sunday and I think that is what got her out of this..all those prayers. I was so heart broken...I felt like my prayers weren't getting through, I prayed hard...but knew I needed help. It was like she was giving up. She said she was ready to go.

Thank you all...I know I will sleep tonight relieved that I have my mamma back.

Update

Thanks for all the prayers...I feel helpless and useless. She is still in ICU and will be there for at least 2 more days the doctor says. Her breathing is better, the chest tube is still in draining fluid. She lost some blood they think from the chest tube and are giving her 2 more units today. The doctors say that she is improving. But her mental state is not anywhere close to being normal. Thursday night it started, she thought she was at her brothers for a little bit, then she thought she was at Todd's. All the time asking me why I won't let her go home, that she just wants to go home from there and get in her bed beside Daddy.

She tried to pull out her catheter, IV's...refusing to keep her oxygen on. Every 20 minutes she would get riled up and start trying to get out of the bed. She said so many hurtful things to me, and before you all say it...I KNOW I KNOW she doesn't mean them...but right now, right this minute in her mind she means them. I am not taking them to heart really but to know she really feels that way right now more than breaks my heart. I won't go into all she said, but I am so disheartened right now I can barely type this. It isn't like my mom, she is usually the most kind, most sweet woman....she isn't right now. She didn't even want daddy to pray over her. She is having some delusions as well...she thinks they killed a dog in ICU and had a funeral, they are wearing masks and scaring her. She asked to go to KFC, Maggie Valley and Frye Regional Medical center (which is where she is now). The doctors hope that once she gets home in familiar surroundings all of this will go away. They are going to get her up today to move around and I hope that helps.

I came to Scott's parents for dinner and to just chill out. I had a horrible migraine last night and am still nursing that. I don't know what to do, how to help...it seems when ever me or daddy...or anyone really goes in to see her her oxygen levels drop and her heart rate and blood pressure goes up. She gets so aggravated and tries to talk too much. Just please pray for her, pray that she wakes up in her mind. Scott says he looked in her eyes and it was like the real Ruby wasn't there.

I am just so down about her and it is hard to think that she is so mad at me....even said she hated me. I know that it is not her, but it is right now. This is really how she feels right now. It hurts.

I love ya'll and will try to get on Monday and let you know how she is doing.

Not a great day...

Last night after all the family left, mom got really sick on her stomach. We asked for something for nausea and then I sat down beside her rubbing her arm and hand and then BAM 3 nurses barge in...scared me to death. They pulled up her gown to see if her EKG leads were on correctly and then another nurse comes in and said she was brady. That means her heart was slow. I tried to remain calm, mom was getting anxious and I didn't want to add to it. Her nurse explained that she needed to have a pacemaker hooked up externally. Said her heart rate had dropped significantly and that is what was making her sick. The rest of the night she was in a lot of pain, her breathing was labored. Then this morning the doctor came in and he seemed very concerned and said that her blood counts were low so he is ordering blood. He said getting her counts up will make her feel better too.

I can't tell you how hard it is to watch her and not be able to do much of anything to make it better. I came home while daddy was there to catch my breath and let Sandy out. I stopped by Mark's grave on the way home and asked him to talk to God face to face and tell Him how much we need her here, how much we love her. I can't imagine a day without her.

I love you all...

Hope

My God delivers again..

Today...made me think of this song..

My God delivers again, oh, my God delivers again!
When is seems that all is lost
He reaches down His hand.
Then all the forces of evil have to flee at His command;
Just when things look hopeless, my God delivers again.

I admit that the devil let those seeds of doubts sneak in and play havoc, but at the end of the day...My God is in control. He used the hands of the doctors and now the nurses to bring my sweet mother through this. I think God confused Dr. Carlton so that Dr. Hennington would step in. We don't know the why sometimes, but God makes things clear eventually and the change of doctors is clear to me. Mom would have never been satisfied with the other doctor...a doctor that wasn't a Christian. I wonder if mom dreamed, I know she had that peace...she dreamed about Mark a couple nights ago...I wonder if he visited with her while she was out. I am almost sure he did. On the way to the hospital this morning and this fairly new song came on...He will deliver me. It says when I am down and worried that I'm reminded of the fourth man walking around in the fire with the three Hebrew children...He delivered them, He will deliver me. And He did....He delivered me, Mom, Dad...all of us. I had this horrible thought while she was in there...what if God wanted to take mom, she would make an awesome angel. What if He wanted to take her to get to the heart and soul of her children and her family. There are those that are not where they should be and as much as Mark's death was a turning point for me...what if God wanted to use Mom in the same way for others. I had selfish thoughts with that .... I want it all... my mom and my family closer to Christ, not just closer...walking the walk, living it every day. I have such talented brothers...ohh how much talent is there.

Two weeks ago, God told me that if I don't start singing for Him that I will lose it. He convicted me so. If I wouldn't do it for him...I should do it for my mom and dad. I fell on my face crying out that I would. The next day Lisa and I sang at church, I was nervous but I looked out at my mom with tears streaming down her face. I looked at my dad on the front row with his eyes closed drinking in every word. Then I realized tears were in my eyes and the Spirit of God just filled me right on up. I sang The Lighthouse and though Todd sings it the best ever...it felt great! It was a few days later that I was asked to sing at Mary Erb's funeral. Something I said I would NEVER EVER do. I didn't hesitate to say yes...I didn't say it...God did. That Saturday morning, I was nervous until I got to the church and then all of it went away and I stood up there in front of so many family and friends and sang How Great Thou Art...and you know what, I didn't sing it for mom or dad. I didn't even sing it for Mary or those family members out there. I sang it for God. That was the first time I felt like I was really using my talent. I regret it has taken this long.

Family, we aren't promised another day with mom or dad. Just as close as mom was to meeting Mark and God today...we have the same chance really. God can snatch us up and it could happen any second. I KNOW....if I close my eyes down here, I will open them in Heaven. I hope and pray that you all have that same assurance. *Sermon off :)*

I love you all so much and am so blessed to have such a wonderful and close family. I could type about each of you and how much you mean but that would take a long long time so just know I love you and can't wait to spend more time, more happy time with you all.

Lori and I are planning a get together around the 4th of July...the 7th I think is that Saturday and we are planning it for her house and a pig pickin with all the trimmings. Soon as the 'planning committee' haha can get back together we will get it going.

ALSO...women we are going to Myrtle Beach the first part of November for Jubilee by the Sea at my old church. It is lots of singing, preaching, missionaries...just a lot of God! We are planning on getting a few rooms or however many we need or maybe a condo and stay on the beach and shop too. So start putting back those pennies! It is way early so no excuses not to go. So far I know that Lisa, Lori, Louise, Mom, Gladys, Me and Ellen are going. I can't wait!

OK...I am going back to bed. I went to sleep at 6 and just woke up to get in bed. Thank you Lord for letting me sleep some. Muscle Relaxer for my back helped with that too.

Love you all,
Hope

Surgery Day...

3:30 my phone rings...."Hope, you up??" It is my daddy making sure I was getting ready for this big day.

4:30 I hear him pull up and we are off with Tommy and Mom towards Johnnys. We stop and Tommy rides with Johnny and we all are heading to the hospital. We get there way early, before the valet arrives so Daddy drops mom and I off and he goes to park the car. It was nice to have a few minutes alone with her. I had been choking back the tears already and soon as she looked at me and said to stop worrying I fell to my knees in front of her hugging her tight, us both crying by now. I told her how proud I was to have her as my mother and how much I valued her and appreciated her. I couldn't stop hugging her. A nurse came in to open the waiting areas and I sat back up in the chair and dried my tears. I just looked at her and tried to memorize every detail of her smile and her soft eyes. Then...our private moment ended. Here came daddy and Tommy and Johnny and I put on my smile and we all sat back and talked and laughed like nothing was going on.

5:30 we step on the elevator to take her up to pre-op. Daddy and I take her up and we talk to the nurse and then Dad steps out while I help her get undressed and in her gown. She is so calm, so assured that our God is going to take care of her and us. The nurse said that all of us could come in now and have a prayer and such so Richard Ellington (her Pastor) and daddy go on up and prays with her and Steve Erb was there too. They come back down and all the family goes up. It was myself, Daddy, Todd, Lisa, Johnny, Elmer, Louise and Tommy. We all gather around her bed and talk and laugh and hold her hand. Then another nurse comes in and says it is time! So Daddy prays over her again and all the family hugs and kisses her and I get her teeth and love on her a minute more...and OHH MY GOSH...my daddy kissed her on the lips!!! EEEEK I have never saw that haha - so sweet.

Just as we get downstairs again, here came her brothers Ray and Ed and Gladys. I hate they didn't get to see her before she went in. We all went to the CCU waiting room and then went down to eat breakfast. As I was getting my biscuits and gravy and eggs and hashbrowns...who do I spy but Dr. Mark Hennington...her master surgeon! He comes to me...and you know he only had met me one time!... but he came to me and said that things were going to go fine and he will look forward to giving me good news after the surgery is over. He has very kind eyes. But yeah...me standing there with my breakfast of champions (not) and he stood there with fruit, juice and yogurt...haha...I gotta make a change!

We all were sitting in the waiting room for what seemed like days...the nurse calling every hour to give us an update. Always great news...getting more relieved by the moment. Then the last call...from Dr. Hennington and he said things went great and he would be out to talk to us soon. Richard prayed a prayer of thankfulness and then the doctor came in. His eyes a little more tired than earlier but just as kind. He said that mom did so great. That her heart is so strong and they were able to get a vein from her legs (which was a big issue) and she held up really well. He said the next few days will be hard but she should get along fine.

Most everyone left at this time, knowing she wouldn't be awake to know they were there. So when they called us back we all were allowed to go. Todd, Lisa, Daddy, Scott, Lori, Tommy and myself went back and the nurse explained the next few hours to us: they would be waking her up slowly then taking the breathing tube out and then once she was breathing on her own we could come and see her one more time. I was worried seeing her with all the tubes, but seeing her like that didn't scare me as bad as I thought.

We all went to lunch and then all that was left was Dad, me and Scott. Finally they called us back and only 2 at a time so Dad and I went. It was the hardest part yet. Soon as we walked in she said Ice Hope...Ice. I saw the cup and wanted to give her a bite, but the nurse said noooooo her stomach isn't fully awake and if she eats a lot of it she will throw up and it will be so hard on her chest. I understood but that natural instinct to soothe anything that is hurting my mom made it so hard. Mom was crying out in pain, her back was hurting her so bad. My dad rubs her back all the time and she was begging us to. But we couldn't get to her back. Her fingers were numb and she wanted us to rub them too...but she was so bound up we could barely do it. She wanted to roll, we couldn't help her. I couldn't help but cry, daddy too. We were helpless to her. I wanted to crawl up beside her and just hold her, I am sure daddy wanted to do the same. The nurse reassured us that she was doing great and she just needed rest tonight. We told them that she wouldn't want anyone seeing her like that so no visitors for the rest of the night...let her rest and we gave her our numbers.

Dad and I both wrestled with the thought of coming home. Of course we didn't want to leave her, but we couldn't' be with her. This would probably be the only night we could rest and the remainder of the week I would be spending the night and that after this long day my back and soul needed a good nights rest. Dad too, so we told the nurse and here I am. I am making her bed up and getting her room 100% ready tonight and then sleeping as much as I can until I go in the morning.

Thank you for all your prayers, and for all of your thoughts and cards and calls.

Mom is doing good..

Just to update, she is doing very good and doesn't seem nervous at all. She is praying for God to use the hands of the surgeon. She just called, is very worried about her cousin Mary Erb. They are taking her off of life support today and there is a very small chance that she will live through the day...so please pray for her.

Mom wants to have a dinner on Sunday and I need to call some people I guess.

Anyone wants to eat with us...bring a dish and come on :)

Other emails I have gotten

I sent the Sword of The Lord a prayer request for mom....this was their reply

Thank you for your confidence in the Sword staff and praying. I have sent your inquiry to the office that starts the prayer letters. God bless you and May the Lord's hand be evident in all things. Jer. 32:27 "Behold, I am the Lord, the God of all flesh; is there anything too hard for me?" Eunice Hurt Secretary to Marlon W. Smith

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These are some of the messages from my friend on a fertility website that I am a member of.

Sending a prayer out to Hope's Mom... let it be in God's hands and he will answer.
Janet

I will say a prayer for her and her family right now.
LynneCline

Much luck to Hope's mom. You will be in my thoughts and prayers...
LISA

Oh Hope, I am so sorry that your mamma is sick! I will be praying for you all!
Kari

Hope, praying for your mom. We need to keep all the prayer warrior's that we have in this day and age!
Sundance

Hope - I am hoping that your mom is doing better. She will be in my prayers tonight. Hugs to you.
Kat

(((BIG HUGS))) Hopie! Prayers for your mom too!
Michelle

Oh, Hope. I just read the update. Hang in there sweetie!! {{{{{{{MANY BIG HUGS}}}}}}} to you and you're mom. You both are in my thoughts and prayers.
LISA

Hope, your mother looks and sounds like a beautiful person inside and out. She will most definitely be in my prayers.
Sara

Hope - Your mother sounds like an amazing woman. I have to say that in the posts I've shared with you, I've come to see your own faith, love and humor. I am assuming that those wonderful traits come from your mom based on what you've said about her. I'll pray for your mom, for you and for your family.
Jamie

Hope ill be praying for you're mother , she sounds an amazing woman! (((hugs)))
NIKKIE

Hope~awww hun i read your story & it brought tears to my eyes i'm so sorry your family is going through this difficult time w/your mom i'll be praying for happy happy news in the week to come. (((BIG HUGS)))
Leah

Hope, I am praying for you as always, with extra thoughts for your beautiful mother. If you hope to be a tenth of the woman that she is, then I KNOW she must be remarkably strong!!! I pray that God blesses you with extra strength for you and for your mom. Please keep us posted!!!
xxoo,Lori

Hope-I will definitely say a prayer for your mother. She sounds like an incredible women and a beautiful soul. It is wonderful that she is such a amazing role model for you and everyone she comes in contact with. I am sure she has changed many lives and lead many ppl to the kingdom of God.
Breigh

Hey Hope, what kind of surgery is it?? Is it a Cath with stints or bypass or what? Just curious. I'm sorry I have missed about your mom but I am sure she will be fine and up and running in no time! She is in my thoughts and prayers.
Air

I am so blessed by these ladies...they keep the prayers going for mom and our family. Also, Jami...a really close friend there sends mom cards and pics of her babies...moms new grandbabies :). I know that Carla, DeeDee, Pennie, Shannon, Michelle, Laura, Jennifer, Christina and Robyn are praying too.

Emails from Ellen and Lori

Hey Hope, My Internet was down. Mom told me about the incident with the forgetful doctor, that tells me that the Lord is going before Ruby. I have a peace about Ruby's surgery. The lord is watching out for her. I love you all and miss you, have to leave to pick up kids from School. I am going to plan a get together this summer. I am praying for Ruby. I loved the Ruby site, I tried to put a message on the site but it said I had to have a password. Will work on that later. I love aunt Ruby. I thank God for that peace that passes all understanding. The world can't understand why we can go through trials and still claim Jesus, but what the world don't know is that Jesus is the one that helps us through and takes the bad things and turn them into blessings.

Love Lori

Hope , I enjoyed our time together too , the older you get the more you realize what's important in life ( family) . I will be listing to hear from you about Ruby's surgery . Give her my love . I am looking forward to our trip to your church . Tell Ruby to start planning ...........
I Love you lots Lori

Hey , Hope I Can't believe how confused that Dr. was , maybe God confused him for Ruby's sake . Hope all is well , we are praying for Ruby .. I really think God intervened and stopped that other Dr. from performing surgery on Ruby . Tell Ruby I said Hey and I love her and praying for her - I have to go get the kids from school, love and kisses, bye!

Lori
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Hope, I have just been reading "Rubys Heart" blog. Thanks for the update. I can't help but feel the delay is an answer to all this praying. We definitely don't want a distracted surgeon and God will do the surgery when the time is right. We will pray that God prepares her body and the surgeons hands while we wait. It's all going to be alright and even better than we could ask or hope. Hug and kiss Ruby and your Dad for me. I will write more later.

Love, Ellen PS I like all the pics, just not my part of them:)

I am so glad to hear the surgeon is a christian..now if that's not an answer to prayer then nothing is. I am glad the Lord confused the first surgeon...he was the wrong guy! I love you all. I pray daily for Ruby and love reading what God is up to in this situation. I will post a comment one day to the blog. My computer is old and slow and I have little patience when I want to write back! Thanks for posting a picture of the bluegrass boy band (I am sure they have a better name). The videos were good too. Let me know if there is anything at all I can do for you all.
Love, Ellen